My Sea of Despair

There's an anchor inside me that leaves a heaviness in my chest.  
There's also something keeping me above the water, almost like a life vest.  
I've fallen off my ship and I don't know where I'm going.  
The waves of my sea of despair are pulling.  
I need a savior or at least a life raft!  
Oh, I'm stupid... Asking a question so daft.  
Why do I need help now? I've stayed afloat for so long..  
I can't help but feel this is where I belong..  
Maybe I'll just accept my fate in this water and, like a rock thrown into this water, I'll drop.  
My legs are tired of kicking under these rapid waves...Maybe I'll just stop?  
Will losing every thing I have ever wanted hurt that bad?  
Will the people who've had these high expectations be that sad?  
Truth is, I don't know, but I'm already at the bottom of my sea...  
And let me tell you, there's no air to breathe and darkness is all I see.  
It's a shame too because I hear faint sounds of paddles above me..They're too late.