Pure pleasure on the bottom

"Pure pleasure on the bottom"

Fluorescent lights reflected in the package
waiting in the supermarket dairy cooler
the ugly girl in the chairs on the side
during the Christmas prom

"Pure pleasure on the bottom!"
I'd heard great things; so good for me
so creamy, high protein; I snatched that ugly girl up
and hoped she'd put out what she promised

I put her in the backseat, then took her home with me
she couldn't be happier; a shelf of her own
I grabbed a container, dug in a spoon

"Pure pleasure on the bottom"
the container boasted, so I scooped and ate
and scooped and ate, but all I had was something
that tasted like feta cheese and pig sweat

then at the bottom was a chocolate molecule
that tasted sour in the wake of the feta cheese
sweat combo so that it tasted
a little like regurgitated curdled milk

I'd heard great things about Greek yogurt
tasted so good, so creamy so good for me
and when I dared mention
it tasted like vomit
and chocolate
but more vomit
than anything
one by one, all the friends
who once spoke of unbidden tastebud passion
found in its diminuitive plastic container
said the same thing
over and over
their tongues freed by my admission

there is no pleasure on the bottom
Greek yogurt tastes like shit.