amber-eyed/black-eyed

amber-scented wax
slinking through
my abdominal skin
as a lie on a candlewick bedding
i want to hold
onto the brass headboard
breathing
quiet, not so quietly
(but instead i
pretend to be
sick down to my bones)
quiet, not so quiely
amber-scented climax

school seeped through the
holes in the wall
my father punched
school has always resembled
a lifeless bordello

now summer offers nothing more than
rounds of insomnia
“empty eyesockets” as i call it
fragile wrist
cruder fist
bones that ache from
sleeping on a dirty mattress
that has sagged low in the middle
low on
estrogen tadpole freckles -
coarse fingers to hesitate before
throwing away yet another
possesion of mine
see, mom, i’ve finally
lost all
sentiment

a good thing you’ve taught me