Burnt Out

It's July 4th 2017 and I am at home
The last time I was home on the 4th of July was 6 years ago
And I'm not home because I wasn't invited to any parties, no
I'm home because I just didn't feel like going out
I'm not depressed, nor am I anxious
Not necessarily tired either
I feel okay

I just woke up around 7 a.m., got ready for 8:30, got to the store by 9 and left by 10:30
Back at the house around 11 to put groceries away and then water my plants at noon
Decided to practice some new music on my mandolin and guitars until 4 in the evening
I made dinner and fed my animals next and by 7 I was done doing laundry and ironing
Spent the remaining time fixing up some stitching on a shirt I made myself a week or so prior
Then I went to bed around 11 p.m. and took my medicine

But before I put the pills in my mouth I stopped myself and asked:
is this the life I really want?

I shook my head no and missed all the chaos, terror, and uncertainty of my old lifestyle
I took my medicine and went to rest
After maybe 45 minutes I asked myself the same question and decided I was content

But was I truly content in that moment or did the medication just make it seem like I was?