The struggle

The struggle to break free from Hell itself was not an easy feat for me
it took years to get it right, The struggle was made up of passion that I once felt for another it ran so deep it almost tore my soul in two when I found out what you had done and how you went about it,
The struggle was love, for me it was one sided there was no power play just one loved one didn't you just shut me down, The struggle was time in itself it was against me there is nothing I could of done to change that not even God could of fixed that,
The struggle also came from your betrayal that was really hard for me to deal with it was a hard pill to swallow when you said you would always have my back, I was wanting to die just to stop the pain that is how deep down inside it is,
The struggle came from me fighting hard to save our relationship while you were still sleeping around I don't think it affected you? If so I never seen it,
The struggle was when you dumped me on Facebook and I was still trying to fight for us I have never cried so much in my life the pain is still there still raw inside, The struggle was also with the way you went about trying to discredit my honour my man hood by saying I was playing around when in fact I never do that,
The struggle I had all stemmed from you turning it all around lying to my face when you could see I was dying inside,
The struggle I had was in my mind it was in my soul it was in my body I felt like I was dead I had already died inside no wonder you had so much control over my next move I found it so hard to let go I still do, The struggle was with you having me hanging on letting me think we still had a chance of being together when you knew that it was over a long time ago but that changed nothing were I was concerned,
The struggle was I was having nightmares over you I could smell your perfume I could feel your soft skin in my dreams that really cut me deep waking to find that it was not real started me back at square one all over again I still get them, The struggle was me standing up on my own two feet and just letting you go you have no idea how hard that was for me I almost gave up it was like trying to take blood from a stone!
The struggle was also the amount of drinking I was doing to cope with what you had done to me I just could not believe how hard you had a hold on me my heart and my soul I struggled more than anyone knows the struggle to break free from Hell itself was not an easy feat for me it still isn't.