Tricky

came back to remember  
the mind doesn't hold onto things you don't like  
Gets blocked  
but, at least I have here
to remember the words  
that my smoke stained fingers  
created  
 
Wasn't easy  
like it wasn't then  
but it's done  
even somewhat forgotten  
but not erased  
because it's written  
readable  
not enjoyable  
nor memorable
but here  
to remind me it wasn't any good  
should want to forget  
but you know the mind really doesn't want that  
It's a tricky fuck  
That rewinds fast forwards  
and never stops  
should just erase it all  
so I can't come back  
so I don't have to ever rewind  
just fast forward to the day when it's really done  
the day I end