What No One Tells You About Going Home

You've been living alone for too long.
Becoming your own man.  
Dad just quit his job.  
Not that you will understand.  
 
Your brother and he.  
From the airport, they pick you up.  
You can tell they don't talk.  
Not that you give a fuck.  
 
You ask yourself why  
You were excited at all.  
Who did you come home to meet,  
After all?  
 
Mom? But she's not here.  
She's far away.  
She's found freedom.  
And she's happy that way.  
 
You actually don't like  
Your father very much.  
You remember how he would  
Never listen to mom, and such.  
 
There are happy memories too.  
You try to recall.  
But they only torment now.  
Do nothing positive at all.  
 
Second cigarette of the hour.  
He's still at twenty a day.  
You wonder what else,  
Went to shit while you were away.  
 
"Your relationship with your brother",  
You answer yourself.  
He's as tall as you now,  
But you don't know him as well.  
 
The car ride is awkward.  
Home offers no respite.  
You remember how small your house is.  
Where the fuck am I supposed to work at night?  
 
All this, because  
Your father is lazy.  
Religion made him so, and he  
drives your mother crazy.  
 
Existential man.  
Not in the least bit interested  
In the life that there is.  
Only in that of the rested.  
 
The days are long and boring.  
You are uncomfortable here.  
The magic of the city,  
Is completely undone here.  
 
You've been living alone for too long.  
The house is too loud now.  
You even go hungry because  
Asking for food feels horrible, somehow.  
 
You get nothing done.  
Your routine goes to shit.  
Frustration builds up,  
And there is nothing you can hit.  
 
Your father DOES NOT GET IT.  
He talks about the soul.  
Dad, ask me how I'm doing?  
Ask me about my goals?  
 
Existential man.  
Not in the least bit interested,  
In my life as it is now.  
Only in how I *should* live.
 
You want to ask him to shut up.  
But he's weak right now.  
Those tormenting memories  
Need you to be strong anyhow.  
 
So you listen as your life is put on hold.  
You're trapped, you feel.  
You never felt like working out  
Because work was never complete.  
 
And now you're fat.  
And you feel like shit.  
Only three weeks here,  
But you're such a misfit.  
 
Mom comes back.  
She's in a zone of her own.  
Dragging you to places.  
And relatives you disown.  
 
Mom, you too?  
This is absolutely insane.  
You can't wait to go back,  
Wondering why you ever came.