Write or Drown

It took me over an hour to write this  
the kid whined
She knew she could have stayed  
out all day in the sunshine
sipping soda and smiling at the boys
while she watched them play fool with a ball
 
Over an hour from the shortest life  
for a few brief lines
that no-one would read  
or care about
ever
Even the voices crazying her nights
didn't seem to matter  
They were mad motherfuckers  
turning her head inside out
feathers of wishfulness in a hat  
she would be glad to stomp on the floor
 
OK there was more to life  
than boys and the jocks of fashion
but she understood her feelings  
would always be a struggle  
even with her legs open wide
she hadn't felt much  
sprawled across the back seat of his car
surrendering to a dream of passion
 
To feel her dreams
she had to write or drown
weathering her own self pitying storm
but after his baby began to grow inside
any illusions about art or the beauty of words
barely crossed her mind  
She'd never thought about that
at all