No more Capacity

Circles... limitless, infinite,    
the air cold and frigid,    
I walk alone unbeknownst,    
this feeling waiting to be announced,    
   
hesitation from clouds    
that congest the sun,    
a rare beauty that    
has me completely overrun,    
   
getting myself lost in her presence,    
bringing me everlasting balance,    
confused at first by constant hesitation,    
yet that never stop me from my destination,    
   
making an appearance,    
there...    
there she was beautiful as    
the oceans currents,    
   
frozen in time as the world    
circled around us,    
my eyes became the photographer,    
my body warmer,  
her smiles constantly making me feel calmer,    
   
congested,    
confused to why I cannot speak,    
I have lost myself completely,    
in her eyes I fell so deeply,    
   
freckles that enlighten me    
as a gaze through the galaxy,    
as her nose slightly wrinkled    
as she would smile so eloquently,    
I was instantly caught by gravity,    
   
yet the hurricane came heavier than ever,    
her indecisiveness inflamed    
within me like a fever,    
   
you were such a fucking liar,    
   
feeling setup up for    
her perfect type of rebound,    
I was so blinded by the    
most intricate delusion,    
this whole thing I wish was all a hallucination,    
   
caught off balance by her    
idiosyncratic demeanor,    
imperfection was her absolute perfection,    
   
why does she not see what she does to me,  
even if I sailed away far at sea,    
I cannot escape the imagery she has bestowed upon me,    
   
I hate you so.. so much,    
   
her excuses hoarders inside me constantly,    
you were the biggest catastrophe,    
this pain so unbearable,  
it is only God that is capable,    
   
of repairing the damage that has been done,  
your love... was it love..,    
   
was it false,    
   
never admitting your faults,    
I plead for you to endure my suffering,    
yet I know that would never even be a thought,    
I know you would have never fought,    
   
for even a little bit of me,    
   
this is what you wanted,
isn't it,    
I loathe the day we met,    
yet...,    
I cannot..... I can't,    
   
this is a painting,    
endless filled with the    
coldness of the arctic breeze,    
alone I will continue to freeze,    
   
paralyzed I shall stay fully disguised,    
for you will hopefully never again recognize.. ..    
   
the man who genuinely,  
absolutely,  
loved you .. . ...