Call me Crazy

Can you release me from this bond,  
this bond that has kept me broken,  
wasteful nights walking around downtown,  
reminiscing about the hope we once shared,  
 
running through the rain trying to find cover,  
I stand there for a moment,  
taking deep breathes of the cold crisp air,  
anxiety rushes throughout my entire body,  
 
anticipating my next move,  
I decided to walk through the flood,  
drowning myself in cigarettes,  
burning through them faster than usual,  
 
looking up at the sky,  
the rain continues through my face molding with tears,  
always scared to admit this type of fear,  
yet this night is more relaxing than any other,  
 
this word love shall catch up with me again,  
patience has always been my weakness,  
now it is my turn to be the turtle,  
behind the rabbit,  
 
my pace has become much slower,  
walking around has never felt as good as today,  
the patience creeps up on me like a spider crawling up my spine,  
dwindling,  
conspiring,  
 
giving me chills of such a rush,  
this city filled with so much lush,  
hopeless romantics,  
and love waiting to happen,
my vision has been foggy filled with denial of purpose,  
 
thinking my journey has come to an end,  
yet this is the question I asked myself everyday,  
trying to find the truth,  
the meaning of this so called fucked up delusion,  
 
swallowing my pride I try to put it aside,  
maybe I'll just end up going along for the ride,  
always trying to hide myself in my head,  
scrambling through my pockets to find my car keys,  
 
soaked from head to toe,  
I sit there before I decide to drive,  
reminding myself of all the good times,  
I don't know if this is torture or denial,  
 
bending the feeling backwards when it should be moving forward,  
I must be crazy to be staying here,  
sometimes I just want to pack my bags and head out,  
let life take me where it must,  
the pressure is exhilarating and intoxicating,  
 
yet I still stay knowing that would be a sign of weakness,  
No I can't give into this misled situation,
I'm really starting to feel the friction,  
feeling not good enough for anyone,  
 
wanting to never cross paths again,  
hear a word from you,  
a text,  
a fucking message,  
a letter,  
or even see you drive by,  
 
searching for something so new,  
something so different,  
where people don't know me,  
where people won't even judge me,  
 
where life slows down  
drastically,  
immensely,  
and where I can constantly enjoy the sunrise,  
followed by the dramatic sunset,  
 
life is always a roller coaster,  
at one moment you're paused observing the beauty,  
life starts to go up and automatically twist and turn,  
eventually you get that one second back,  
 
sometimes that's all you need is that one second,  
that one moment that triggers something so overwhelming,  
so exhilarating,  
something just flat out crazy,  
 
just that one second that will tell you,  
everything will be alright,  
that everything might just work out,  
I was always this mistake waiting to happen,  
 
maybe that's what I am and that's fine,  
 
I am over all the crying,  
 
I am over all the heartbreak,  
 
I am over all the drinking,  
 
maybe now I'm breaking the rules,  
 
I guess just call me fucking crazy.....