My Little Lie with Large Effect

I always have trouble trying to say this
I might be saying it the wrong way
So let me try this way
I lie
No
Not I didn't just lie
I explained the lie
So that others would think it's true
This lie
This little little lie
Was about my life
Everyday someone will say
"What are you gonna be when you grow up?"
And in Kindergarten
I was always to myself
Kids would friend one another
I was by myself
No sparring glances in my direction
Just me and Adam
Adam
He was my friend
Still is
In a way I guess
He isn't real
He is in my head
Only his voice
Because I don't like faces
Adam never had a body
Someone came to me one day
And said this
"Who are you?"
This very statement
Was the cruelest
It made me lie
And this lie had to be told
To the teacher
"I am Adam"
No
I don't have personality issues
Ever since young I knew
That Adam wasn't real
At that time he was a stuffed gorilla
So yes back then
I talked to myself
I still do
We all need to every now and then
The teacher was shocked
And she said my real name
So then I explained
And an explained lie
Is the best lie to tell
Because the story can only be told by you
You are the survivor
Everyone fell into the lie
But not you
You know better
I will bare you the details
And just tell you that the story worked
And kids started to say things about me
They started to look at me
I liked it at first
However I got easily annoyed
So I said I lied
This truth was thought to be a lie
Just a joke so they laughed at it
My truth
My name
Me
A joke
So I will never tell the truth if the lie was told first
The truth comes out at the end right?
Well then when they put it together
Then I will tell them
But until then I will stay quiet
And look away from them
When they look at me
And when they look away
I will plan my next lie
The truth is hard to get out of me
Because I don't like the truth
The truth hurts
I don't want that for everyone
So I will help someone tell the truth
I will be trusted
I will be known as dishonest
I will be what I chose
When I grow up
I will not be me
Or them
Or anyone else
I will just be a lesson
And that lesson is this
"When a lie is told
Only the liar knows the lie
But if he lives the lie
Then he is the lie
And he will continue his lying life
As you continue your truth telling life"
Their is no difference
These two lifes
They can be friends
They can be lovers
They can even be haters
The only difference is
One life is more certain about what he will do
Because lying tells you that truth
The truth only tell a lie within the person
The illusion of Choices
So choose carefully
They are not simple
They are not complicated
They are lifes
That are lived every single day