Am I Happy?

As I look up to the stars
I think to my self....
Am I happy?...
Am I happy with my life?.....
Am I happy I exist?...
Or will I be happy if I just disappear?..
Am I happy to be here?.....
Am I happy to be there?....
Do I cry when I'm happy?.....
Do I cry when I'm sad?....
Or do I cry when I'm in pain?....
Will I ever awaken from this nightmare......
With all this pain I have Inside.....
Will I ever be happy again.....
Probably when I'm dead........