13.07.2016

I could not stop thinking about your smile after we bumped into each other.
It was like when summer meets autumn and all the colours are more beautiful than you remembered and the weather is just right, and the way the leaves fall with every gust of wind brings you a feeling of serenity like nothing else.
But then winter arrives and it's nice at first.
The snow falls so perfectly and everything is still beautiful, just not in the same way.
The air gets colder, It's harder to be around,
You were harder to be around.
Knowing you could never love me again was like the anchorman of a news channel telling me the rain would not let up for days
And my pillows would become puddles, which would become seas and oceans of salty tears, flooding my room, reminding me of everything I wanted to forget.
Like how the edges of your mouth would curl when you would smile,
How everytime you kissed me I could feel a tsunami forming in my stomach,
And just how much I really missed you,
I wanted to forget.
But with every blooming flower, I couldn't help but notice how each one reminded me so much of you
How I wanted to pick every last one from the stem which kept them alive and hold onto them forever, I wanted to hold onto you forever
Withering between pages in my notebooks, were flowers left untouched, and unwatered in months, executed by the hands on my body, leaving me to have the memories of the first boy who ever loved me, imprinted in my notebooks forever.