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I ran for four blocks before i lost him
Four blocks before i realized what was happening
Four blocks before I could even articulate the words “i am going to call the cops”
These four blocks seemed like the longest four blocks of my life
Four blocks of him chasing after me
Four blocks of him threatening to kill me

Four years of flashbacks
Four years of waking up from reoccurring nightmares
Four years of me having to pretend like this meant nothing
Four years of having to see him so often, every birthday party, every holiday dinner, every family get together
Four years of making myself believe I am okay, I am not okay

I remember after I stopped running, I was on a street so unfamiliar, it was so dark
I felt much safer in these streets crying, alone, than i did for those four blocks

A year after those four blocks, he apologized to me
I said it was okay; it wasnt
I said dont worry about it; he should
I said it was a long time ago; somedays it still feels like yesterday
I wonder if those four blocks are as fresh in his mind as they still are in mine.