spirals in sanity and insanity

self torture
I can't stop myself i'm too far gone
The need to harm myself

I like the sensation of destruction
I deserve it don't I
Mister?

A blade in one hand a scar on the other
All the cause of a mother that blunders
A heart that sputters

Hear....t pound.....pound...pounding
so....c...c...cold

Ice cold fear engulfs
A book to read that makes the body cringe
A new sick need takes over

Shaking trembling
A fear emerges one of knives one of violence one of horrors

Limping crawling scarred up body collasping
"Heh...heh..heh... Deserve it don't I"

Eyes fly wide  pain engulfs
Flames fill my nose and eyes
Reality and insanity

This pain means nothing
The scars are fun
The blood pooling is a toy
And you mister can be my ploy

"You don't remember me do you"

A blade and noose are my muse time to put an end to this lose of a game

"It's me Raven please stop cutting don't end you're life and stop letting people torture you"

Maggots crawling all over me
Try to scream nothing comes out
A need to carve fills my mind
An ice cold metal blade presses against my flesh harshly deeply a deep laughter engulfs is this the devil or the reaper it's so cold

.........BANG.....
Blood splatters it falls slowly to the ground ripped away with the sound of.... a chainsaw....


A gentle warm voice whispers never again
He held me in all his warmth
He bathes me in the sun washes away the blood
And forces breath through my broken and beaten down body
Staring up i see his light blue eyes
Curly yet short hair
Side burns that run into his beard
A few words .....:"Are you good"

Forced out of insanity and fallen into sanity
where all the pain lies
He makes the conflicts of life real

Depressed then happy
Sad then nervous
Suicidal then a need to live

Kill me now