Im sick on the Inside

Im sick.... on the in side...
its so hard to breath
Im lost in my own reflection, forgetting who I am
I have because a pessimist in my slumber
and a drunk by day.
I lost who I was and
Now I am just the living reminder of dreams come to pass
no I don't sleep, don't dream
Last night I remembered nothing
and today I just wish I could forget
I take my life with spirits so that maybe I can find mine.
I lay every night with a restless mind
That only mocks my well being
I am so cold in this place
and can't seem to feel better

Im sick on the in side
but now one will care
I work and then go to class
only to wish I could leave this dark and gloomy world
I sit and think .Only to see its pointless to try
but yet I do. For what?
Life will not change. I can not and will not
I just wanna run a way to a place where life is but a dream

Im sick on the in side
and can't find help

im lost.... cold ..... and don't know what to do.