deepundergroundpoetry.com
VALENT
My security detail welcomes me
Sound of aircon and a country heartbreak
On the radio my heart's as low
As only a woman knows
They wish me Happy Valentine
And ask about you
Your voice has become a memory
Not your phone voice but your real voice
As if I'm forgetting what you meant
Your voice dies
I want to charge the phone
When I do we lose reception
Any desire here upsets the equilibrium
Its better to want nothing
The red bus on the red road
Has painted in blue on the back
GOD BLESS DA PAYCENT
Blues sings on the radio
Take me to hills
Where the airs fresher there
And we'll do nothing but beer and stare
And I stare at the Messenger
Because I want you to say
I know you done me wrong
But you done me some good to
*VALENT - is defined in psychology as the degree to which someone is attracted to another or not
Sound of aircon and a country heartbreak
On the radio my heart's as low
As only a woman knows
They wish me Happy Valentine
And ask about you
Your voice has become a memory
Not your phone voice but your real voice
As if I'm forgetting what you meant
Your voice dies
I want to charge the phone
When I do we lose reception
Any desire here upsets the equilibrium
Its better to want nothing
The red bus on the red road
Has painted in blue on the back
GOD BLESS DA PAYCENT
Blues sings on the radio
Take me to hills
Where the airs fresher there
And we'll do nothing but beer and stare
And I stare at the Messenger
Because I want you to say
I know you done me wrong
But you done me some good to
*VALENT - is defined in psychology as the degree to which someone is attracted to another or not
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 8
reading list entries 1
comments 18
reads 895
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. VALENT
16th Feb 2017 11:46am
Brother, it sounds like you're in some kinda exile with this crazy little thing called love. :)
I'm digging this style you're delving into here. Don't get me wrong, I'm totally into your signature concise philosophical cryptic mindfuck pieces, but these self-talk bad boy narratives pack a punch with brilliant use of description and damn fine poetics, particularly stanzas 2-3-6.
I'm totally feeling the degrees of unbalance on the scales of valent. What's the attraction to love anyway?
I'm digging this style you're delving into here. Don't get me wrong, I'm totally into your signature concise philosophical cryptic mindfuck pieces, but these self-talk bad boy narratives pack a punch with brilliant use of description and damn fine poetics, particularly stanzas 2-3-6.
I'm totally feeling the degrees of unbalance on the scales of valent. What's the attraction to love anyway?
1
Re: Re. VALENT
16th Feb 2017 12:08pm
Hey Case - grateful for the support and the add - you know how it is - sometimes it becomes pre-eminently clear to me how little I know and how much I still need - as for love - like u I've always got a dollar for that ride
Re. VALENT
16th Feb 2017 12:34pm
Re. VALENT
16th Feb 2017 1:36pm
Wish I had noticed this sooner... Becuz I was asked to do a cryptic
piece on valentines day n THIS easily would've birthed the inspiration to have done one... Lol...such a masterful weavin of this crazy lil thing they call love! :)
piece on valentines day n THIS easily would've birthed the inspiration to have done one... Lol...such a masterful weavin of this crazy lil thing they call love! :)
1
Re: Re. VALENT
16th Feb 2017 1:47pm
Hey Poe - lol 😂what's poison for one of us is fair times food for another thanks for the appreciation as ever
Re. VALENT
Anonymous
16th Feb 2017 3:00pm
Well big fish, I'm feeling this one today.
I had to Google up on 'valent' - it's not a term I had heard before, but I can see how this would make an interesting poem, and you certainly do it justice. The last four lines are where the whole poem hangs for me. These damn lessons showing up again. They have a horrible habit of doing that from time to time. Excellent writing.
I had to Google up on 'valent' - it's not a term I had heard before, but I can see how this would make an interesting poem, and you certainly do it justice. The last four lines are where the whole poem hangs for me. These damn lessons showing up again. They have a horrible habit of doing that from time to time. Excellent writing.
1
Re: Re. VALENT
17th Feb 2017 1:38pm
Re. VALENT
Anonymous
16th Feb 2017 4:10pm
This one made the heart ache.
Flawless detail and expression. Words which saturate and vibrate every fiber.
Flawless detail and expression. Words which saturate and vibrate every fiber.
1
Re: Re. VALENT
17th Feb 2017 1:39pm
Anonymous
- Edited 27th Dec 2019 12:45pm
16th Feb 2017 7:20pm
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. VALENT
17th Feb 2017 1:40pm
yes much is said that wasn't meant and meant that should have been said Thanks Melia
Re. VALENT
16th Feb 2017 8:36pm
blues, heartbreak,
& how to sort what a man gives:
things a woman knows;
a bus trip worth the fare...
& how to sort what a man gives:
things a woman knows;
a bus trip worth the fare...
1
Re: Re. VALENT
17th Feb 2017 1:41pm
Re. VALENT
16th Feb 2017 9:54pm
So different whale from your usual...i'm liking this style as well...paints a vivid and emotional picture :-)
1
Re: Re. VALENT
17th Feb 2017 1:43pm
Re. VALENT
17th Feb 2017 11:18am
Agreed with above-very different from Your usual- Quite arid and painful!!!
Distance makes for nostalgia ...
Moving Write!!!
Distance makes for nostalgia ...
Moving Write!!!
1
Re: Re. VALENT
17th Feb 2017 1:45pm