Inkblot Love

I like the tone of this poem and in some ways I also like the repetition within your poem as it shows both the doom/sub share the same feelings about their relationship I.E they both find their play to be a ''symphony of delights'' and the circularity of the writing works well in that way. However personally I think it'd still work nicely if you added some unique perspective from either side to show the difference in the way they enjoy the experience, for example he enjoys her moans but she must enjoy whatever he does to dominate her? At the moment for me as a reader, I read the first four parts and felt intrigued and it definitely grabs your attention but then the second four parts are so similar it lost some impact. I hope you understand what I mean and that my comments are helpful. Thank-you for sharing. X

Thank you X for sharing such an astute perspective.  Let me ponder your suggestion. I had hoped the reader would fill in the specifics according to their individual fetishes. Her moans, and cries, and sighs tell him his dominating technique is a home run and that thrills him.  Ditto for her. Her pleasure is doing to him what thrills him and she knows she's knocking the ball out of the park by his moans and cries, and sighs.  I'm not sure how to better relate their harmony without limiting your, the readers, imagination.   Help!

To retain the effect your describing, and to keep room for the readers imagination,  perhaps you could just describe their body language differently to one another. This could help to make them individual but keep the mystery around the actual acts between them. For example,  she expresses her pleasure through moaning but every person expresses things differently so a man may grunt, she may bite her lip, he may kick his lips. Just some random things off the top of my head. As her dom or as his sub, they would understand each other's body language and if you hold the same structure (because the structure is definitely working for the effect you want,  I'd say) then you could still show how they enjoy the experience in the same way through that but keep it alive with the variation. I'm glad you appreciated my feedback. If you do decide to edit this then I'd love to read it again 😊 X

Hi again Stephanie; Go deeper in it.  Let yourself go, and feel it slowly.  Read it slowly.  Become the submissive.  Wear it for a while.  You'll see the essence of it under the superficiality of the words.  Enjoy it, fore I'm enjoying you, your creative inspections, and wonderful suggestions.   You are a dear.