deepundergroundpoetry.com
LOVER
The rain: refracting shards of diamond drops
Among the fractured glass and aggregate,
In searchlight pulse of morning’s frail belong
The songs of opened doors infect my thoughts
My glasses dull and running stained in waves
Of not my dry and burning heart aware
I pause… in acid glare of café shops
The metal in my hand blown frigid wet
And long to crawl back in your unknown bed
Published 4th Feb 2017
| Edited 17th Feb 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 0
comments 4
reads 689
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
4th Feb 2017 7:46pm
5th Feb 2017 2:33pm
SweetOblivion, Thank you for your kind comments on my little work... Yes the first stanza came almost complete, all at once, and was with me some time before the rest of the poem developed... I love its imagery as well... As always, deeply appreciated... geoff
5th Feb 2017 8:22am
Gosh tomcat, I hear & feel & see the way the rain has wrapped 'round your world. And then I keep reading the very last line as:
And long to crawl back in your unknown bed
- Jadey
And long to crawl back in your unknown bed
- Jadey
5th Feb 2017 2:36pm
Thank you, jadey, for your kind critique... a much better line! btw... I also took the chance to change around a few more words to improve the piece... always look forward to your thoughts... always better for them... tommy
