deepundergroundpoetry.com
Take Me Home
Sweet melodies serenade my mind away
Times were simple and your smile was sweet
Nighttime flashes cross the height of my heart
As your echos hum along to our once true love
Ambient light flickers in the bare of my soul
And this vision is of two, that were meant to be
Life's pull grabbed hold and then we were lost
But these feelings I hold for you remain steadfast
Here I wait, dancing alone in my dreams
For the day you come and take me home
Times were simple and your smile was sweet
Nighttime flashes cross the height of my heart
As your echos hum along to our once true love
Ambient light flickers in the bare of my soul
And this vision is of two, that were meant to be
Life's pull grabbed hold and then we were lost
But these feelings I hold for you remain steadfast
Here I wait, dancing alone in my dreams
For the day you come and take me home
Published 28th Jan 2017
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Anonymous
28th Jan 2017 9:57pm
This piece...causes such a yearning within.
It is so deeply felt.
The longing, the want...the need.
Achingly beautiful ink.
It is so deeply felt.
The longing, the want...the need.
Achingly beautiful ink.
28th Jan 2017 9:59pm
29th Jan 2017 8:45am
The use of the medial caesura in line 6 is nicely done as it breaks a thought that would traditionally be expressed wholly without punctuation to separate it. The idea you are conveying in this line is the separation felt by the persona so this illustrates abnormality of the situation to the reader. Well done.
"And this vision is of two, that were meant to be"
"And this vision is of two, that were meant to be"
29th Jan 2017 9:07am
29th Jan 2017 10:42am
That last line... oh, how I felt it!
Everytime I read the words echo and hum I get a bit enchanted, great to see them combined :-)
Everytime I read the words echo and hum I get a bit enchanted, great to see them combined :-)
29th Jan 2017 4:14pm
