deepundergroundpoetry.com
all i want
all i want is nothing more
than for you to always love me
accept my flaw
tear down my walls
with your ravens claw...
please help me understand myself
so i can comprehend you
i want you to take me off my self
so i can connect with you...
i am fragile please dont break me
my fence too hard to penetrate
id love for you to set me free
so i can finally concentrate
concentrate on you
and let myself go
let myself renew
break my eternal low
so i can be with you...forever
than for you to always love me
accept my flaw
tear down my walls
with your ravens claw...
please help me understand myself
so i can comprehend you
i want you to take me off my self
so i can connect with you...
i am fragile please dont break me
my fence too hard to penetrate
id love for you to set me free
so i can finally concentrate
concentrate on you
and let myself go
let myself renew
break my eternal low
so i can be with you...forever
Published 19th Jan 2017
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likes 6
reading list entries 1
comments 5
reads 890
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The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
19th Jan 2017 3:53am
Wow Rise......this dripped a tear.......what a beautiful heart felt ink.......everyone wants to be luved.......I hope luvs blessings come your way........enjoyed this much......purple luv & hugs xo :)
19th Jan 2017 4:34am
Haha.... U know these words are likely from a woman... Am not saying these aren't beautiful words... These r beautiful but I feel as if they are coming from a woman .... R u sure u have depicted ur gender rightly in ur profile... Anyway it doesn't matter .... Enjoyed ur words... Very well written :)
19th Jan 2017 2:06pm
rather than being a woman, im simply breaking out of that outline of feeling nothing that is being a "man"
21st Jan 2017 9:01am
Wow... such a beautiful write!
"i want you to take me off my self
so i can connect with you" > love these lines!
Welcome to Deep Underground :-)
"i want you to take me off my self
so i can connect with you" > love these lines!
Welcome to Deep Underground :-)
5th Feb 2017 6:47pm
The oxymoron nature of this piece is very unique. But I felt that the piece would've been a little less confusing for me to understand, if you had removed an oxymoron or two. Still, I can sense a strong atmosphere of love along with interesting dramatic struggle.
