Regrets

I’ve been feeling extremely anxious lately,
I’m constantly wondering about others’ fates,
Non-stop comparing what happens to me vs you on specific dates,
I always think of all these inventions that I could create.

I don’t need to create anything, I’ve become bitter as a lime
I don’t need people to approve of me,
I shouldn’t worry about how many times my ears hear severe chimes.
They say it means someone is talking about you,
You must be awfully bored for me, Jesse Lee, to be the topic of which you speak.

I don’t notice you, but I do know what you do,
I’m in the back on my phone, but I can see.
I can hear, I can smell your perfume for fuck’s sake,
And I don’t know who you are trying to impress wearing that dress.
Every man in the world? probably a little less.

One less.

I try to stay on your level, gambling my opportunities,
I stay hidden in this crevice, living life and paying fees.
Not with money now honey, but with my soul,
I’ve been told that it’s old, bold, and even once I heard it was made of gold.
I know better than that, because I’ve been googling every word you spoke.

Was it plagiarism?

I read every word you ever wrote on a website,
I thought maybe this was the end, as it looked outrageously dark,
But then the shadows began to saunter,
No more being haunted, or taunted because there is light.

Is it a flashlight?

They can break, their batteries will die,
It could be taken, back in the dark I’ll be with a sigh,
At least I’ll still have cigarettes and the ability to get high,
I will find someone, “let’s get high” I will say joyfully.
We will have sex that means nothing,
Make sentences for buffers,
Meet new people and suffer.

Whose flashlight is that?

Maybe she’ll have brown hair and cute freckles,
She will be beautiful everywhere, her heart will be filled with care,
“there, there” when I’m sad, but understanding when I’m bad.
I’d have to hold on tight though, because regrets are all I’ve ever had.