HALF AS SLOW

"HALF AS SLOW"

I'm hurt
Not call 911 I need a doc hurt
That mental and emotional pain
The kind that wakes u at night from a dead sleep
Leaves you with shit you can't let go
That makes time tic twice as slow
How does 1 cope
With anything that frees ones mind
Alcohol ,sex, porn and well you know
Spending money like I have it to blow
Last months rent just got paid
Tomorrow next months due
Each trip could be the one
Yet head  for another g
Know I'm being followed
Stopping for a pregnancy test
Now tell me my life ain't fucked up
It's like spending 2 to make 1 always owing 3  
Hold off the gravedigger
I'm burying my own myself
How  shit get this far
What a bullshit question
Like I don't know wrong from right
Refrain from pushing blame
Accept mistakes I made
And trying my damnedest to move on
As quick as I can
Which ain't fast in quicksand
And I'm so far out there
No chance in hell of a helping hand
Even  if someone offered
I would turn  and try to get a reach around
Can be so perverted with the way I think
A broke man killing hisself dealing with life's struggles
Doc said the screws in my foot looked good
But the ones in my head might be loose
Laughed it off
Asked him doc you know they have doctors only for females
Yes they are  called gyno....
Cut him off screaming
Vagina keepers
Who picks feet over vagina
Got so pissed I took out my knife
Cut off my own foot
Asked now do you believe I'm not crazy
Snag 2 bandaids on my way out
In return left my right shoe
Was like nurse I won't be needing that
Woke up in room 315
At the county clinic
Looking around noticed my foot was back
Replaced with a black mans
I'll be half slower then I was
Peeked down at my goods
Damn it
Signing out lady ask for 1500 cash
Pulled out my wallet asked for a pen
Wrote I don't have it and slide it under the glass
Security called but what 2 fat men going to catch a white dude with 1 black foot