now

when I am my own worst enemy
destroying the very things that bring me joy
saying no when all I want to do is say yes
standing in the way of my own happiness
why do I feel this pain
created by my own need to self destruct
My paranoia telling me its only temporary so end it before you no longer have the ability to choose
but why choose pain when the other options are inner peace and joy
why think about what could be
instead of what is... Now