Rest Easy?

Standing at the edge of what appears to be my sanity
On the edge of what was supposed to balance me
No longer confused as the intoxication of anger boils
And through me it swims growing from the soil
That's on the floor of my soul
Falling, breaking to pieces no longer whole
Angered for the way life chooses to play out
The roads it forces me to take that leads me to doubt
Standing at the edge of possible forgiveness
For abandoning me for forcing me into loneliness
I throw myself off the ledge the wind rippling through my hair
My lungs overfilled with such air
That causes me to let go of everything I ever owened
Feeling the poison feeling incomplete feeling alone
How could you leave my side when I needed you more than anything
To deliver me to decode all the confusion life would bring
And now as time and life have taken a different turn
There's still so much wrong as I feel my veins begin to burn
I tried, life fought me, you ran away
And now as you return what was waiting for you has went astray
My soul used to be an open door to you
But you vanished I melted and life devoured us two
So how do you expect me to Rest Easy?