Not Knowing

 My chest is rent with the slashes of your verbal knives
Burning and welling tender blood
As you search for the words that will plunge
Into my heart and bring me down
And I wonder why I let you hurt me
When to walk away is such an easy path to take
And in my deepest brain
It occurs to me that I still wait for your love
When all I have gained is your hate
I search my heart for the reason why I need you so badly
When it is crystal clear that I do
I simply need you
And worse you know it
Though it is clear that your need for me has left you
And it is only your abhorrence that I can hope to be granted
By staying and letting the blood fly from open wounds
As you attack with your words
And flay me wide
I simply need you
And I don’t know why