You Don't Know Me

You don't know me...
My swayed walk,
That little accent in my tone
Relations never last,
Yet I hate to be alone
You don't know me...
Fix my hair,
Extra care with what I'm wearing
Only cry in the shower
So the tearstreaks aren't apparent
You don't know me...
I use my pain as remedial medicine
Pretend to know it all
Down rocky roads,
I'm headed
You don't know me...
Suicide's been around my neck since I was eleven
Asked God to forgive me
On my way to heaven
Told him I been hurting
See those worn bracelets on my wrist
Its 2016
Why do I still feel these niggas lips
Still feel these niggas fingers
Clutching the insides of me
Filling all the wrong places
Like doors with wrong keys
You don't know me...
Use niggas
Exactly how they use me
Close every open entrance
When they try to get through to me
You don't know me...
Incapable of being 100% honest
My skeletons haven't been dead long enough
To take them out the closet
You don't know me...
Put others first,
But I'm so selfish
Let others build up dependency
So I can leave them helpless
You don't know me...
There is no rest for the wicked
Told myself I had a good heart
But to hell,
I had a one way ticket
You don't know me...
I used to have a soul of pure gold
But my mother found the highest bidder
And my soul was sold
You don't know me...
Must always remind myself to breathe
My throat gets hoarse
From screaming please fucking leave
You don't know me...
My pains become everything I am
Feeling like the world owes me something
So I treat it like I don't give a damn
You don't know me...
And that's okay
I just need to explain
Why I behave this way
Why I find breathing
To be so complicated
Why I wait at fates door
Waiting to be taken
Why I cry everyday
Why my smiles don't last
Why I feel uneasy
Every time I laugh
Why every time I feel ok
Something tells me this isn't real
Why I feel so much
Yet I'm unable to feel...
You don't fucking know me
Cause I don't even fucking know me