Left without you

 I lay on the floor with thoughts of you on my mind and tears in my eyes,
I’m missing you when I should be leaving you.
I’m mourning the fantasy of you that was in my mind.
I can see it in your eyes,
I will never be what you wanted.
I’m not pretty and you’re not alive inside.
You walk around with death on your mind and pain in your eyes.
I lay here with my eyes closed and my thighs spread wide
While you lay on top of me with your mouth opened wide.
Behind closed eyes, memories of your hips on mine and your lips grazing mine,
dance across my mind.
You claim me, as I scream your name
My soul was yours to take
Every touch and every kiss,
opens my heart and closes your mind.
I opened my eyes hoping you could see the women behind my bullshit lies
Your eyes look into mine
Did you see me?
The girl with long brown hair and green eyes
Who had light in her eyes and love on her mind
I close my eyes and spread my thighs wide
That girl is gone
She cut her hair and shields her eyes
The light has died but the love never lied.
I saw you
The boy with short hair and big blue eyes
Who smiled even though he was dead inside
That boy is gone
His eyes are cold and couldn’t look at mine
He grew his hair and forgot to care.
You asked if I minded,
With your lips on mine and your hands on my thighs.
I opened my eyes and closed my thighs
Tears falling and hope was dying
I hoped you saw the woman behind my bullshit lies.
Instead when you were done, you walked away without a care.
Now am the one who walks around with death on her mind and pain in her eyes.
I couldn’t save you
I put up my walls to hide the tears
I lay my head down and closed my mind
The truth is though; the pain was what made me feel alive.