This is I

I'm scared....
Scared that I lost who I was
That I'm unsure of who I am
The "old me", would never have to hold a paper with her up at the mic stand

But confidence is now a past
A bright "has been" in which I now lack

I keep feeling like I need to release
Let free
Be me
But the question arises.......
Who is she?

I'm just me, an old soul and free spirit
I need inspiring beats to ignite my lyrics
And with headphones on I'm untouchable..
Bass out of control
I can close my eyes and lose myself in my own vocals

But now she's gone

And I'm trying to reconnect my mental points to focals
While the mundane think of car speakers
I'm dreaming of motivational seekers
Changing the lives of paper chasing peers
Who waste their blood soaked change on 9mm, gold chains, sneakers, pills, liquor and beer

I'm just weak here

I sometimes try to remember why I'm crying
What it is that I'm trying to accomplish?
I feel like I'm on all the
"Used to be a used too" lists

But shit, I just want what you want
For my life to be pure bliss

I want to fuck your mind so good, you're entire world is amiss
Have you realize I'm the piece to a puzzle you didn't even know you had, let alone missed

Excuse me, I know I'm all over the place
You have to over stand......
It's been so long since my pen and paper had a taste
You know, it's like a heart-mind-hand race
Thoughts flowing at a high rate anxious pace
It's almost like my ink is laced
What else can I say

But back on track....
I don't know that I'll ever get the "old me" back
But I can take her.....
Subtract the bad......
Lay out the good......
And the future.....I will slowly add

I need to stop hiding behind invisible face masks
Learn to find that happiness and laughter
Lay an inspirational slate for myself and my daughters

I'm going to find that light
Fight to ignite my fire
Not let the enlightened flame die
And when I do........

I'm gonna take my soul on a licentious ride

And follow the universes incantation to arrouse my third eye

360 degrees, with my cipher pointing to the sky.

This is I