Seeking Righteousness

I’ve always been taken with the use of supernatural gifts
Whether you believe in God or not
Whether you believe in the supernatural
Other worldly, something else
There are plenty who ascribe to their use and validity.
And I am taken with them.

You will hear people tell of their stories where they were healed
Miraculous recovery that can only be attributed to a higher power
Words of wisdom and knowledge to speak life to someone else
Great feats of strength to save someone from certain doom
Messages from those long past to bring closure to those living
Left behind
And I am taken with them.

I have always thought how incredible it would be if I were to have some ability such as these
To be witness to power that is not mine, but is acting in front of me
To do something incredible for others
So I wonder…why not?
Some people think you are born with these and it’s just luck of the draw
Others believe that God bestows spiritual gifts to those he chooses to give them

But if what I am told from what I believe is true
Then the same miraculous power that graced the earth thousands of years ago
To heal
To restore
To speak
To call fire
To split water
To raise the dead
Should still be there for me to use for Him if I believe

I believe.
I am saved through no effort of my own but His
I did not earn it
If anything my salvation should have been kept from me because I tell you I did not deserve it
It was given to me by Him who loves me
I believe.
So, I believe, but still this power is not in me.
I pray, but I do not heal.
I speak, but I have no words to offer
I ask, but there is no prophecy.
I am powerless.
The Word says “seek ye first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you”.
I read this and read this and said “God I’m seeking!”  
I read and read and read until one day I finally heard.
You seek my kingdom, yes; but not my righteousness.
All in one day it all made sense
I had always doubted my ability to be one of those old school apostles who cast out demons in the name of Jesus
I knew that should I have been there they would have laughed in my face
You think that thought would have given me a clue
Through His blood I am righteous with God, but I haven’t been seeking His righteousness

Not like I could have
Not like I should have
And I wonder why no power is in me