relapse i guess

Ill provoke your karma she hissed,as she did the last shot
i didn't try to stop her
right now,thats just who i am
pain and madness are part of my program

i still gotta fuck her though before i get sick
so she let me lick the blood when she pulled the needle out
that shit always gets me hard

Ill fuck her like an animal till we both reek with sweat
maybe i can drink up some of her toxins
mix that with cheap vodka and a few xanax
now
i feel good enough to shower

but
when i get done
the sweats still comin
i start to cough
she laughs
tells me to quit my bitchin
i feel like if she hits me ill ask her to marry me
but , i also would eat the fuckin cottons right now if i wasnt pretending to try to quit
its funny how she behaves at times like these
in a few days ill have her come into the detox im checking into
that way we can get caught fucking in the bathroom so we both get kicked out together
we should wait till just after lunch

relapse within the hour
sounds great
it'll be different this time
im stronger
and after 4 days i see so clear
we can control it together
it'll be perfect
so i send my little demon into the store to steal some vodka
we drink it on the way to an N/A meeting
she grabs my cock as she gets up to lie about her days
then spills someones coffee
i offer to clean it up
but i don't
i figure thats how i clean up my messes
as we leave she calls the speaker a faggot and steals the leftover doughnuts
at least we got to a meeting