Crazy Self Love

When I crave to feel beautiful
I just tell myself "you're beautiful"
So that way I can hear what it sounds like
To have those words directed at me
And when I listen to myself
A moment of warmth washes over me

When ever I'm dying to be loved
I bring my heart to life with reminders that I love me
Accompanied by soft tender touches
To accentuate its meaning
Because words need action
To gain the right reaction

If I'm feeling alone
I wrap my arms around myself in comfort
Whispering that I will be okay
With reassurance that I'm strong
Sometimes I just need to be hugged tight
Who can hold me closer than me?

And if I yearn for relaxation
I run my fingers through my hair
Sometimes give my head a little massage
To create contentment that I long for
Not all physical self love has to be sexual
Though I have my fun with that as well

I appreciate every part of me
From the internals to the externals
I am not perfect but
I do the best that I can with my flaws
And if no one can love me for it
I can always love myself

It doesn't eliminate desire
It doesn't fix holes with which I have been left
But it can ease woes temporarily
And I'll take that something over nothing
It's not the same as someone else
But it's all I've got

I learned many years ago not to rely on anyone exclusively for love
Dangerous games had me twisted and consumed
It was a dependency, an addiction, but once I got out
It taught me to find reasons to love a lot of who I am
It also inspired me to create them
By becoming the person I wanted to be

I am so proud of many of my accomplishments
All the lessons I've learned and personal growth that I've achieved
But the things I hate about myself do get in the way
And I don't know how to love everything
I wish I did though
Or that someone did so I could learn by their example

I know I tend to get confused sometimes
When disposed of after being under the impression I was wanted
Because I know that I've done my best to present an authentic image
So I can't figure out the errors in the detailed view
Because if people grew to dislike things even when they implied they wouldn't
Makes me wonder what I overlook that maybe I shouldn't

I don't know what is enough for another but at least I know what's enough for me
Doing my best to be a good person and spreading love makes me smile
But maybe there will always be those flaws that trouble us no matter what
Perhaps it's unrealistic to love every single aspect of one's self
I guess the best we can hope for is to love and accept most of who we are
The key is to be as good to ourselves as we can

Even if that means a good self talk out loud
Speaking words of encouragement, love or validation
Or if it includes physical touches on an emotional level
Self hugs and playing with strands of hair
I know this all sounds strange but go ahead and call me crazy
Because crazy totally works for me