The Spill

Times has gone beyond comprehension
The tension within leads to apprehension
Faith and fear is in a romance within me
And the product of that is what has got me spilling
Is thrilling how times murder dreams
All is just an illusion it seems,the light dims
When you stare too hard at the reality of things
So I'm caught here in this strife called life
Can't close my eyes without my nightmares coming alive
I've totally withdrawn back into my own shell
My aspiration to become something I cannot tell
The fallacy I mock myself with nowadays
For they grew wings and flew away
Right before my eyes,now I'm so thin and pale
Like something hanging out here on sale
The calmer I get outside the hotter the riot inside
As the tides of life rocks my boat on every side
Baby I know you're bothered by the noise in my head
I know you know how much I wish I was dead
I'm no longer that lovely guy that brought you flowers
Now I'm just the guy that's fading away with every passing hour
And I'm so ashamed to look into your eyes
You say it's okay but every time you say that something in me dies
It's not that I stopped having feelings for you
But I'm aware that there's no good those feelings will do
So just forget me and move on my dear
And let me roam like a lonely wanderer out here
Until I find a place for me in this hell-like zone
Where I can lay-back and feel at home
Cause for now my anger is kindled against me
I hate everything about how I came to be
And the mirror reflects an image I hate to see
There's monotony and a battered economy
What will I do with the gift of autonomy?
Whichever way you choose to look at it I'm just a slave
On a long weary journey to the grave
Yet I'm sure that peace will come to me soon
Not as a bad fate but as a boon
And finally find me some rest
From all the endless trials and test!