How I Feel About "Depression"

Depression, a word commonly used by teenagers who just can't understand their changing body functions, so they rule it off as being depressed
Because what? you sleep a lot? you eat a lot? You can't control your emotions sometimes? Ever heard of puberty and the human body's functions?
Depression to me, a nineteen year old who still doesn't know much about the world..
Depression to me is like a piggy bank
One of the ones that you put money into
And put money into
Until one day
You need all of the money you've been saving up
And so you have to smash it
Smash the piggy bank into pieces with a hammer
Hey, why not try a baseball bat?
Day after day I fill myself with motivation
Day after day I tell myself that I can do it
That this isn't pointless
That I'm doing this for a reason
Funny thing is, I'm doing this all while I'm stuck alone in a house where no one gets it
Where no one understands what it is like to want something so badly
But you cannot achieve it, because your mind and body "just don't feel like it"
Your mind and body "will get to it tomorrow"
And then finally
Finally one day
You have built up enough motivation
You have built up enough self confidence
And you finally feel like you can do something
You finally feel like you can start college
You finally feel like you can find a job
But remember
Just like the piggy bank, you have to gather all of the contents you've been saving
Because there's nowhere else to put them now that the bank is broken
Now that your mind is broken
Now that your body is broken
So you have to put all of the motivation you've been telling yourself you have
All of the self confidence you've been falsely building up
Into one thing, one thing that will help you better yourself
Roll the dice, flip a coin
Which one will it be?
Will you go to college to get your degree so you can have a good job in the future?
One thing at a time.
Or will you ignore college and get a job that pays lower and that, statistically, you'll never make a good amount of money at?
Just to make them happy.
One thing at a time.
Two would be too much to handle.
Your mind and body cannot handle being up and motivated all the time
Especially when they're so used to being asleep and at war with each other
What will you choose?
What will you tell everyone when they ask you why you can't do both?
No one will believe you.
"Hey, I'm nineteen, and I'm clinically depressed."
"Hey, I've had a lot of shitty things go on recently, so I have no motivation, because I don't see a point in anything."
Face it.
No matter how many times you say it, no matter how many times you tell someone that you don't feel right inside.
No matter how many times you try to explain it.
No matter.
They will always just chalk it up to the classics.
"You can't have problems that bad, you're so young."
"You're probably just making excuses because you're lazy."
"Come back to me and tell me you have had bad things go on when you're older."
Just because I have lived
A third of the life span as you
A half of the life span as you
Just because I haven't lived your life
It doesn't mean that I don't have problems too
It doesn't mean that what I'm going through isn't affecting me
Just because the things you're going through aren't affecting you the same way
We are not the same people
Our minds
Our bodies
They are not built the same
Just because you think that my problems are nothing
Just because you think that I haven't had bad things happen because I'm young
Just because you can't understand because you haven't experienced these things
That does not mean that you can cut me down and tell me that I'm not feeling or I'm not thinking the way that I tell you I am
I would say that you should walk in my shoes
But I wouldn't wish this upon you