Painful past.. (daddy's lil girl)

The Painful past...

I remember I was your special baby girl. You were the king of my kingdom. Trusting you with every thing within me. You told me everyday when you placed a kiss on my lips "daddy loves you". Those words now make me cringe in anger,rage,shame,and hurt. My dream of being daddy's little girl came true. But quickly crushed.

But it was just a set up! I assume! The daily kisses began to feel different, more intimate it seems. But "daddy loves you" are the words that rang loud putting me at ease. Your embrace is what I desired and that I did receive. The comfort I felt was like none other, security I thought was true. Until your embrace caressed every curve of my temple placed in front of you. But "daddy loves you" rang loud and true putting me at ease. I'm your gift from God you say, precious in your sight. Daddy loves you so everything will be alright, pushing it behind. Saying ok its just me! As your kisses begin to linger down my undeveloped body. Wanting to scream stop " daddy won't hurt you" just made my heart beat stop! " Daddy loves you" rang loud and true. I'm his special daughter, I mean the world to him. He won't hurt nor harm me, but will kill what's within me. Numbing myself to the feelings letting things go to far, for a love that was never love to begin with. I began to hate myself. Crying out WHY ME?! As u penetrate me with your fingers, saying baby it will feel good trust me. You taught me how to make a man feel good as a woman often should. Daddy what have u done to me? Confused if right or wrong! Why does your love have to be such a secret ? Only at night when all is quite and dark or all alone.
Daddy that one day you buried me. You killed your precious jewel! The day you laid me on my back and sat beside me. Caressed your baby girls lifeless body. You spoke these words to me. " Daddy wants to show you love a very special kind". As you leaned on top of me, your penis swang low between my legs you caressed my legs spreading them wide. My heart sunk, I couldn't breath. I couldn't even scream. All that was within me began to stream from my eyes . The door way to my soul was now closed. Something came out of me "daddy why me I don't want you to love me" I screamed as you tried to penetrate me.... I will never forget the look you gave when you looked in my eyes full on fear. You said "daddy loves you" got up and walked out in anger. Daddy please don't hate me!... "OK take what you want!" I cried. Daddy began to hate me. My punishment I shall receive . Why must I feel blood and bruised for your guilt within your evil soul. What happened to "daddy loves you" that was suppose to rang loud and true? But now I hear a deathly silence as you batter your precious jewel. I escaped deep within myself, locked in the deepest chamber of my soul. Far from access even to self. A child battered and bruised still in confinement lost and scared to come out into the light.
"Daddy loves you" rang loud and true. But those words molded the wreckage of the girl that now stands before you.