Silence

Sometimes i wish that I
could have
Complete silence.
Because sometimes I find it
Difficult to breathe
This anxiety
Makes my chest tighten,
Listening to the electricity
stream through these
Street lines vibrate
I got ear plugs
I tried it
But the sirens
Preparing to make
another black mother cry
Still survives in
Environments
Like Vaccumes
With temperatures
Reaching absolute zero.
I close my eyes and I see no
Salvation
Just fear
Trying to lose myself in the darkness
But it's hard since
I can't escape from the ringing in my ear.
And the buzzing.
I turn off the lights
But the dogs are still barking
And the fire alarms
Just a reminder of
the memory of those departed,
Jumping from the burning buildings
To their deaths
I watched them
Falling
And the shootings,
The war that followed
Still follows me in my dreams
I need my gun to keep me safe
But I hate how loud it bangs
But still not loud enough.
To muffle the sound of what's
in front of me
A grown man collapsing
Then a thud.
I need silence.
Trying to drift away into my dreams
But the coke heads across the street
Playing music
Through their sinuse
I think that they
Think that they
found peace inside the lines
That they
Play in like children in the snow.
And their music.
I'm a tired of their music.
The bass
And snaps
With songs and raps
About the evil things
That create those scenes
You see in the movies.
Poverty,
Loss of the,
Relevance of space and time
Just lost in sound
That pounds
Through your mind
What happened too the art.
Revealing the lies of politicians
Speaking out
About droughts
Gang violance
And school tuition
This life is a prison,
Someone please set me free.
Laying in a blanket
made of those same lies
I have to choose
Between whose
Presidency won't completely
Ruin our lives.
Thinking of a paradise
Where we live inside
The oasis' in our minds
Where our dreams come to life.
I meditate,
Hoping it takes
The pain from this headache
And turns into a continous
Climax
Just to find that
the sounds of my own
Moans begin to annoy me.
I wish I had,
complete silence.
But then I get it.
The lights Turn off
And time just stops,
and the air leaves from my body.
But then I hear it,
The echo.
A tiny giggle
Followed by a smile,
The sound I could never let go.
My baby's laugh.
It ricochet between my temple
To my temple
Then I realize
That all the noise
I want to escape from goes
Along with the one sound
I want too hear the most.
The ying to my yang.
My baby girls smile and giggle
As she sits on the floor
And plays.
It makes it
Worth it.
To listen to the coke heads
And their music
The shootings
Bang bang
Through the movies
That play out in my dreams come true
I knew,
That there was more to life than this.
My fruit
My flower
My rose,
Her fingers grab onto my nose,
As she laughs my pain away,
And all other sounds fade away,
When it's just me and her.