teshuqah

 

if i lean with my smoothsnake lips over
and take your breath discreetly
will you notice- will you mind?

i create a sweet hot heartbeat pool for you
and hold your head down
drown, drown she screamed
while his short tongue did everything it could to catch the knot
to set him free

i looked over

did she know she was not afraid?
does she see how well she controls
her pain, tightlaced and spins it a whip
to open his legs and leave his baby wrinkled
tendertouch tempting sultry scent
in the palm of her hand

every lick an experiment
in god-finding, in what he loves
how tight she can squeeze how deep her bite
how earnest her sorry;

how true what she says but
what a place&time to say it in,
and i still look at the pictures i took
when you didn't want sanity from me
and i force orgasmic loneliness
in a silent gasp

let myself believe the gut twister
slap-back-handed compliment
"normal"
tell you it is all a ruse
i don't even know i'm capable of
i crave your life
penetrating mine
your hands in my hair
grip-fisted, imagining porn scenes

i'm lost without the emptiness
you couldn't fill
because you're empty, too



she didn't love you,
but i do