Section Forecastle

As I drove through the dark I saw the city lights I was leaving behind, flickering in the distance, trying to seduce me to go back to them. For a moment I almost wanted to; but the traffic lights brought me back to the now, the gift of time. I stopped, to think about what I was leaving behind; but more importantly, why I was leaving it all.

And as I reassured myself that I wasn't wrong when I said I would go, the traffic light gave me the go sign and I went. Oh did I go!

I can't imagine a most perfect way to end it all. Once I accepted there was no going back, I put the metal to the pedal and was as gone as the fish you flushed down the toilet because you just wouldn't stop shaking its bag on your way home from the fair from which you won it as a price.

Not even 10 minutes later lights brought my attention to the rearview mirror, this time from a cop car chasing me down the deserted highway. I realized the music from my tablet was blasting to the max and I didn't even care anymore. I had given myself up to the fate that was my demise. I had made my peace with the one who mattered most: me.

Was I seeing double? Ha! At a little less than twice the speed limit I had attracted another bacon. I started to feel the panic mixed in with the adrenaline of the gravity sinking in to my stomach. Where was that stupid cliff? At this point I even wondered if I had missed it. One of them was almost right next to me by the time I was done thinking about the cliff and I panicked. I slammed on the brakes but nothing seemed to really stop. Only now everything was going in circles instead of disappearing behind me. I stopped feeling the pressure of the pedals, I stopped feeling the knot in my throat; everything was slowly dissipating into the night .

Your face showed up like an otherworldly ghost that haunts my dreams and saves me from my deepest nightmares. I heard your voice demanding that I let you know I got home safely. Despite the cold breeze I felt the warmth of your embrace. The last bit of warmth that my body will ever feel. And for the first time in my life, I'm crying.