Why Couldn't It Be Me?

Despite Some Of My Best Efforts
The Thought Of You Brings Tears To My Eyes
I Am So Angry At The Fact That Forgiveness Have Not Entered My Body

I Am Still Grieving
I Am Still Hurt
And Yes I Am Still Hoping
 
I Want To Be Angry
For The Other Option Is Just Not As Satisfying
Why Should I Even Forgive You?
Oh I Know Its For Me, Its Not For You
I'm Sure You Can Live Happily Ever After Knowing I Hate You
...
But I Don't Hate You
I Don't Love You Either
I Can't Quite Get My Finger Around My Feelings
I Can't Put Them Into Words
Into A Poem Or Song
I Spend Countless Hours Writing  
Hoping That This Poem Will Be Last
That I FINALLY Got Out What I Needed
And Each Time I Finish My Poem
There's Still That Hurt
That Pain
That Anger
That Sadness
That Nagging Fuckin Feeling Like I Lost
Lost You Yes But I Lost The Love Of My Life

While We Made Plans To Be Together
I Had No Idea You Were Making Plans With Her Too
While You Were My Plan A,B,C---Z
You Had Me And You Had Her
And You Chose
And It Wasn't Me
And I Cry In Pain As It Piercing Through My Soul
Dominique You Were ALL I WANTED.  
It Was Always You.  
Why Couldn't It Be Me?