deepundergroundpoetry.com
Opacus Clouds
That afternoon the weather
could not get much better
The sun felt like
it would last forever and
The breeze brought ease
that I could not feel before
I still had not the slightest clue
though I saw something in you
Finally something I had to look forward to
could not get much better
The sun felt like
it would last forever and
The breeze brought ease
that I could not feel before
I still had not the slightest clue
though I saw something in you
Finally something I had to look forward to
Published 19th Aug 2016
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 4
reading list entries 0
comments 5
reads 704
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
19th Aug 2016 00:47am
17th Aug 2020 2:02am
Anonymous
19th Aug 2016 2:37am
<< post removed >>
24th Aug 2016 11:31pm
Enjoyed this read RatriRani... :-)
Can I suggest the words 'I had' in the last line may be superfluous
Can I suggest the words 'I had' in the last line may be superfluous
Thanks for your comments! It is meant to be a very simple poem. Something about the redundance of "had" made the ending syllables sound better to me :)
