120

120
That number rang through my head repeated repeated
120
Was the number I thought of when I looked at myself in the mirror
Three days without eating

But I wasnt the 120
They were

120 was what I thought when I carried them in my arms and onto my couch
Their excited giggles filling my ears

120 was what I thought of when I kissed their collar bones
Looking at the perfect way their waist tapered to their hips, ribs underneath

120

120 is what I thought of when they said theyre aiming for 115

120 is what screamed at me when they said theyve been vomiting everything they eat
Simply because they cant keep it down

120
Is what they were happy with

I envied 120