My Kind of Normal - a Poem about Anxiety

Trembling I feel it begin
A soft caress, satin on skin
Spidery legs, sneaking in to build
Webs in those hollow places within
 
Dazed, I watch it unfold
Afraid now, I watch it take hold
I dread that embrace
Breathe.... Don't anticipate
Those tentacled legs that suffocate and squeeze
Until darkness comes to me
 
Desperate to medicate
To do anything to placate these demons that seem to take pleasure in this mental state  
Anything to get away from this hopeless, helpless, endless place  
There's no escape, my role's been cast
This is my fate so I play my part  
With a horrifying sense of dread
Waiting here with bated breath  
The moment it all falls apart
 
Here it comes, the adrenaline  
Coursing through my bloodstream
Rapid breathing, squeezing my chest, ribs tightening
Throat constricting, voice mute
Even my thoughts are stuttering
Insides are fluttering  
That familiar, sickening tilting of everything
 
The darkness warps and glitters  
A well trodden hall of mirrors distorting all familiar things  
Friends becoming frightening  
Oxygen diminishing  
The walls close in, panic sets in
Screaming, clawing,
 
Inside, bloody hands beat on the door  
A child sobs, curled on the floor
Begging no more
 
Inside I'm left
Bound and beaten
Bruised and broken
Yet this false facade betrays no marks
No token
She's just a little awkward, a little shy  
Just a little torn apart inside  
Just a little terrified of things that yesterday felt fine  
Wondering how long this time  
Until I'm me again.