The passion that grew me

Why are we such horrible people?, like we don't care how we feel
It's the others fault why things turned sour, never ours,
never the things we could have done better
hiding, covering up, you cannot know me
time goes by, days, months, years even and then it dies
short attention span, easy boredom with our actions
never satisfied, search for something bigger than us
something better, glorified..
we keep searching for it, something very important but missing right now
It felt real, made us feel things, pure purpose
Our youth, the innocence so pure and powerful
so certain about everything, belief that grew us
I was higher than the clouds but now i'm confused
what happened? can't seem to remember
If I try to recognise it, I fear my searchlight will flicker and die
And I would be left in the dark, again
My reality feels like the egde of a cliff, the gush of winds in your hair
scary thoughts of falling give me strenght to hold on to the rocks
so high up, the world looks so big in front of my eyes, it frightens me
I've been told what to do to survive, this and that, I said ok
Then I'm ready, the suspense to leap is there and the moment comes... I can't
What is wrong with me? the frustration of repeated attempts overcome my being
Anger, sadness, pain and I don't even belive in pain
It shouldn't be there, its not real but I gave it life and its eating me up
I'm trying to remember myself, that beautiful girl I knew so well
The me I tell people that I am, even though she doesn't look like me right now
I promise you she's there, I'm not lying! I remeber her, please believe me!
'You used to be so up there and now, I don't know', jessica said to me
'I know', I told her reasurringly because I believed her too
Where is that power? so deep I know its not gone
I belongs to me and I want it back but when I stand up my bones get weak
I can either stay here and die in my state or move on, and I keep choosing move on
Even though my weak bones keep holding me back, always standing up and trying again
I remeber how I used to survive in those days, that power
It was called passion, its what I knew carried me through
Those dreams of flying or running, smile across my face, the sun so brightly shining
My grandma told me that a stream that forgets it came from the river will soon dry up
Don't want to forget that power,It was what made me who I am today