Plastic Surgeon (revise)

The hate I feel for you is so unreal
wasted I feel, each bottle unsealed
Cross faded my faces doubled in mirrors
I picked glass from my face, like stickers you peeled
I hear diffrent voices commanding each ear
When I rest, will I wake? Sometimes it's unclear

retracing the steps I have revealed
reliving a nightmare I so despised
embraced the ending I once concealed
hoping this time I won't arise

shoe laced as far as the forearm goes
scars zigzagging across my soul
I'll hide them now so no one knows
inside my heart I've made a hole
A loving home for substance to hold

every day feels so relieving
the edge, my vein will be receiving
Numb, depressed, not happy, not angry,
Ignored, or unnoticed, honestly I'm impressed
the mannequin master of problems repressed
They credit my name for the smile, it's blessed
Yet I have no faith, or no god to cross on my chest

no longer elastic
no more ecstatic
Like a surgeon to my body
They drug me
I am plastic