Freedom

Admission of love was supposed to free us but it kept us in shackles. Chained to the fear. Locked in possibility of hurt. We didn't intend to figure out the combination. Maybe we hated the vulnerability. Maybe we couldn't deal with how overwhelmed we felt. How we found it hard to lose control. The feeling of being suspended in the air reminded us, this was not security. It was escape. A temporary relief that we never should have blurred. How bated breath begets anxiety resulting in unfounded conclusion.
  To stop loving you is the equivalent of asking my heart to stop beating. I am forced to acquiesce with the arrhythmia formed from your silence and I pray we don't lose us.
My fingers find it hard to complete this poem. Pride blocks creativity so the message is void.  We remain in respective corners. Suffering in solitude, too afraid to step out of ourselves.
I want to write you, confront you, simply understand you.  
Yet the way I'm set up, it's easier to hide in myself. I'm not ready to surrender all of me. You refuse to expose your all to me. So in this game of who can hide better, inconspicuous thoughts haunt me. Poetic phrases positioned in preconceived packaging: try again later.
But later never comes.