A swing that doesn't creak

 Here we sit
Eyes frosted over
lips frozen in poses as out of place
as apathy in love filled hearts
here we sit
with me unable to put words to the thoughts of you that my mind clings to the way a child holds on to a birthday balloon
in order to remember the day that he felt as cherished as he should be

those thoughts
And that balloon
different sides of the same coin

he can't pull the past into the present
as easily as he can a balloon
I can't turn these images of me and you unburdened from silence into reality
those awkward little bricks of unspoken words have made a wall so high I'm not sure if screaming every last fear
haunting the insides of my eyelids
could clamber all the way to its peak

by the time it fell my question fell
to the ground at your feet
All that would be left is a wordless whimper
there would be no questions, concise and clear as a bell
why is it you find it so hard to forgive me for crimes I didn't know were crimes until you changed the law?
Why is it that when I think of my life in ten years time, your still by my side but I still can't say for sure if you'll keep smiling for me?
Why won't you let me build a wall of love around the two of us so high that we could look down on heaven if we climbed up to see the view instead of knocking down its base?

But here we sit
steeped in silence
bitter without our sugared words
and I have a question about questions
do I ask you why?
or do I ask myself
and tell you
that if you keep pushing my heart away
sooner or later
the swing on which it rests
might fall back and hurt you
when it finds you in the way
to its final destination