"Positive"

The water drops ticking on the old metal can
outside the window - like a second hand,
accumulate unevenly.
I watch them as they dampen me,
inside;
where no one can see.

I once felt the vigor from anticipating news
that would change my life-
like a guiding light.
Yet, with each passing winter , I saw my window close-
losing precious time-
I never could decide...

which way to go
if I chose a new direction.
-To afraid that those
with no fear
would know...

that I wasn't brave, like a pioneer
who wanted more in life.
I watched them reach the sky.

So, the rain still falls
as I've seen others pass away.
I know soon enough,
you'll be calling my name.

When the obvious turns into
some complicated game,
"positive" results
bring on a negative change.