Contempt

You people
Walking around
With vacation brochures tucked
In your back packet
Troubled by garden variety problems;
The dishwasher needs a deep cleaning
And the sprinkler head is broken..
I resent you.  
My insides broil
I can’t help it
I can’t
Stop this feverish ache,  
The slow burning shame  
Of what I did last night
How I earn again and again
Your repugnant hate.
And I don’t blame you
For hating me,  
How could I?
And what would that do anyway.
Blame.  Shame.  Scream.  Punch.  Cry…I never stop crying.  
Clean, flawless contempt.
I resent you happy people
Bouncing around in my space
Your joy mistakenly
Slipping into my sludge of dreary
Like poison and paint thinner
Spoiling my day.