Falling back down to earth

Smack. It hits my face,
and then I snap back to reality..
All the stress rushes back into my mind,
and I lose it .
I need to regain my strength,
am I even part of the human race? 
I feel so distant, so far... 
Am I blind?
Why wont this shit get out of my mind? 
I can't get out of my selfish ways,
that's why the pain comes and stays...
so I fall until I hit reality again.
And then my mind starts to spin,
what kind of state am I in?
I can't seem to realize what I've done wrong,
I need to change my ways
but for now I'll just fall....