Reality Check

Completely disconnected from everything. My body present, my expression content, but I'm not here. I don't see you, I don't realize what I'm doing. I feel like a zombie. Consumed by my mind.?
Possibley.
I never know where I am. I can't remember anything, my minds not intact with what I say or what I do. Reality mixes with the world of dreams and fantasy, hard to seperate the two...
I feel like I have no control over my mind. Over myself...
I can't feel anything. I'm numb to your word. To your touch. The blade in my hand but I can't feel it. Blood dripping from my wrist, I don't realize it's there...
Is this life or a nightmare... I can't tell if I'm dreaming, or living.